The other day I was chatting with N over a coffee. He was like you have changed in the 3 years I have known you. I said “why do you say that? What happened?” He then said, don’t worry the change has been for the good. So what has been the change that has happened in me, consciously or unconsciously? I thought I need to look over the last three years and compare myself to the old self. Has the evolution been for the good? Have I missed something? These are the questions I shall explore with myself today.
N said that you talk with people more easily now. Also, I am friendlier and less reserved. I talk to more people with more ease. I guess that is a good change for me. But some things remain. I still am very silent when I first meet people. Mostly these are the people with whom I want to be friends with; I see to like them at the outset. But somehow I do not open myself until I have seen a lot of them and I am sure of them. This I think I would like to change but not fully. I guess I have lost some things because of this. I still need to be sure of the person whom I will trust. I am still scared of the people I love the most in this world. I am scared of losing them because they make my world. But I need not be scared and need to talk to them outright and honestly. These are some changes that have happened unconsciously I think. I can’t think of anything more because they are supposed to be unconscious. I would like my few readers to point out any more changes in me.
Let’s now talk about the changes that I have brought in me consciously. I have become more disciplined and more organized in my work. I now respect and admire my parents, family more than I ever have. I have begun to do everything with a purpose and learnt not to undermine anything. Everything in this world is equally important. We need to respect all forms of knowledge. Somewhere I have learnt to use my time more judiciously and efficiently. It is another matter that people think I am overdoing things. But yes, sometimes I do get drifted. That is I guess a proof of my theory that there is a fundamental limit to humanity. No one is above the nature. And lately I have again started to see the zeal for hard work that I guess was lost somewhere. It is still on the horizons but that is one change that I want to bring in myself. After all hard work has brought me many laurels.
Well I guess that is about it for today. It is a great irony that I end up writing something different than what I think of. I guess I need to joy down the points as and when they come to me. That would help bring what is inside my heart and not my mind. Mind is always cunning you see, heart is pure. So always say all is well to the heart (as they do in #3 idiots.)